On hot and sunny day in the summer of 1981, I came home from work and my grandparents were visiting our family home. I was 18 years old and a recent high school graduate with my whole career ahead of me. I was sweaty and dirty from work when I greeted my grandparents that day on the patio of my parents’ home on Long Island. I said hi, hugged and kissed them and excused myself quickly to get a shower.
That summer I was working at Rickel Home Center, a long-vanished home store for do-it-yourselfers… a smaller, less ambitious (and less rectangular) predecessor of the Home Depot or Lowes stores today. On that day, I had spent several hours unloading rolls of unfaced fiberglass insulation from a 100+ degree trailer and I was hot, sticky, hopelessly itchy and experiencing discomfort in my eyes and throat. It was not my best day on the job.
When I arrived to see my parents and grandparents sipping lemonade on the patio of our home, I suppose I mumbled something about the kind of day I just had.
Later, after taking that shower, it was my turn to sit and enjoy the Long Island breeze on the patio. At some point I found myself enjoying a cold soda and the cool shade alone with my grandfather.
He looked over at me and said, “Like your job”.
I said, “Not really, Pop-pop, it’s pretty nasty sometimes. Today was bad, and it seemed to take forever.”
After a little time passed, he said to me, “That wasn’t a question.” I think my response was something like, “Huh?”.
“I said, I wasn’t asking you”, he replied, “I know too many people who constantly whine about jobs and their lives are miserable. Please don’t be that way. Don’t be one of those people. They whine and make everyone they work with, and even their families, unhappy. Their kids hear them complaining about their jobs and grow up thinking it is normal. Find something you like about your job and keep it in your mind. Just find things you like. If you really can’t stand it, then leave and find another one, but please don’t become a complainer.”
This conversation has come back to me numerous times. Over my 30-year career, I have been incredibly fortunate to have a series of challenging and extremely interesting and fulfilling jobs. I think I mostly took his advice (especially in front of my family) and maintained good humor and a positive perspective, but I definitely recall some occasions when I failed to. I am not proud of these times because it is clear that my grandfather, in his simple message, was right.
I often find myself in the company of the people my grandfather was referring to – who moan constantly (and almost unconsciously) about their work. On the job, they certainly impact the people around them, lowering energy and confidence. They are difficult to work with, and sometimes even hard to be with – as colleagues, friends, family members, employees, and customers. I feel kind of sorry for them and for the people around them. I wish they were all there with me on that summer afternoon with my grandfather. He would know what to say to them.
I still think his advice was pretty sound. I wish I could tell him.
So, what do you like about your job?
Some reflection Questions that I will be thinking on:
- How do I improve the ‘feeling’ at work for myself and my colleagues?
- What mechanisms can we put in place to keep us out of a ‘job complainer’ mindset?
- Is there a type of support system that leads to a more positive approach to work? (both inside and outside the work environment)
- How can we influence our colleagues (and even family members) when we encounter excess job negativity (without sounding self-righteous)?
- How do we create a framework for young people so they can understand how to handle challenging employment situations and keep their perspective?
- What happens when someone is truly stuck in a bad job and cannot leave due to personal circumstances? How can we spot this? How do we support them?
- We see people in some truly ‘dirty’ jobs who seem to have a positive mindset. How do they approach their work?
