Alas, yet another paradox for leaders: If it feels uncomfortable, there is a good chance you might consider doing it.
Over the past few years of working with teams and clients, I almost always give this kind of advice at some point. In fact, if the only thing I did were to put this idea into the heads of leaders all the time, I would add a little value for them every day.
So please consider:
- That obnoxious peer who constantly contradicts you in meetings? Take him to coffee.
- The difficult and/or unpopular task that you need to assign to a team member? Just get up and delegate.
- Two of your people are hoping for the same assignment or role? Decide. Then talk to each of them. Inform the person who did not get the assignment and then tell the person who did get it. Do it unambiguously and do it respectfully.
- The employee that you cut off in the last group meeting because she is too long-winded? Apologize (properly) to her and hear what she has to say.
- That team member who brings everyone down by seeing the negative in everything? Take him to lunch (yes, it may be painful) and hear him out. It will allow you to understand and work on the issue with him.
- The weekly meeting that is so ineffective that you consider pulling the building fire alarm to make it stop? Stay after and work with the organizers how to bring focus to the session.
- The team member you want to avoid because they always put problems on your desk? Set aside time with them, focus on their needs and then align your objectives.
- The team member who is struggling on an assignment? Affirm them and listen to them. Do not take the assignment back, but re-focus the effort and push for more.
- That meeting that you are great at running? The one that everyone compliments you about? Let someone else run it – coach them through it. Time to grow!
- The person everyone says is gunning for your job? Build a relationship with them, understand their goals and be open with them.
- And a scary one: Your manager is overwhelmed? Ask what you can take off their desk and help with. (Once you ask, you have to step up.) It will add to your workload and you will have to ask for more from your team. It is a terrific way to grow as a leader.
- Do some of the above sound time consuming? They are, but you are investing up front and it will pay dividends in the long run.
- Do some of the above sound painful or stressful? Ok… well, then smile, because when you encounter these situations, it means you leading – alive and engaged. Being positive through it all not only sets the tone for your organization and puts you more in control, but it brings real balance and openness to each situation.
If you are leading and something seems out of your comfort zone, give some real thought to it. It could be the thing you ought to be doing. (Sorry about that.)
I first came upon this concept years ago as it is exercised in the main story contained in the book: The Unnatural Act of Management: When the Great Leader’s Work is Done, the People Say “We did it ourselves” – Suters – HarperBusiness – 1993
It has helped me ever since.
